Feeling Sandwiched?

This week, the realities of being part of the “sandwich” generation came home to roost—literally.

My father-in-law—and both of my adult daughters—were diagnosed with the flu. A “winter” disease. In June.

Fun times.

Two of the three ended up in the emergency department—one of whom spent a couple of nights in the hospital. And my husband ended up playing both ends against the middle, all while not feeling 100% himself.

I may be preaching to the choir here, but I believe it bears repeating: CAREGIVING. IS. HARD.

An issue that bookends our lives—as givers, and as receivers—caregiving is inherently challenging, no matter how well-intended we may be. In fact, as we as a society continue to age—and as the costs associated with aging continue to rise—many of us will be faced with the task of having to make some very difficult decisions in the years to come.

First, there’s the Financial Cost.

Simply put, caregiving is EXPENSIVE. Although Medicare, Medicaid, and long-term care insurance offer some reimbursement for in-home care, those reimbursements don’t begin to cover the cost of hiring paid caregivers, especially for people who need them on a daily basis.

There is often a financial cost to family caregiving, as well—especially for those serving as caregivers. Many have to take time off of work—or change jobs altogether—in order to be available when their loved ones need help. Not only is this costly in the moment, it has implications for a caregiver’s long-term earning potential, as well, particularly if that caregiver is a woman.

Second, there’s the Emotional Cost.

While taking care of someone who needs assistance absolutely has its rewards, the fact is caregiving can be thankless work—both literally and figuratively. The tasks caregivers are asked to perform—helping people shower and go to the bathroom, cleaning up their messes, dressing wounds, etc.—are, let’s face it, not activities most people are clamoring to engage in for even their most revered loved one, much less a perfect stranger.

To be clear, I believe this is vitally important work. VITALLY IMPORTANT. I thank God every day for the people who help us take care of my 95-year-old father-in-law—we could not do it without them.

But no matter how important—or rewarding—caregiving may be, it takes an emotional toll on both the caregiver and the person being cared for, especially if the two are related to each other.

Finally, there’s the Physical Cost.

Caregiving is HARD WORK. It often requires the caregiver to lift someone who is unable to support their own weight—multiple times a day. This can be particularly difficult—even dangerous—for family caregivers who’ve received little to no training on how to make these “transfers” properly and safely.

And speaking of family caregivers, they are often on-call 24/7, even though they may also be juggling numerous other responsibilities—at work, in their own homes, and with other family members. In fact, family caregiving can be so grueling that it can adversely affect the caregivers’ health, sometimes more so than the person being cared for.

Fortunately for my family, our summertime battle with the wintertime flu will be short-lived (even though it may not feel like it at the moment). But for so many families, the challenge of caregiving lasts far, far longer.

And at some point in our lives, we’re all likely to have to grapple with it.