Class Is In Session
Last week, I spent a few days in New York City with my daughter.
NYC is perhaps THE BEST city on earth for people-watching, and as my daughter and I traversed the streets of Manhattan, we got to talking about the different types of people we passed: immigrants and refugees from all corners of the world, people down on their luck, children and teens (and their poor, harried chaperones) on field trips, tourists waiting in line to see their first Broadway show, LGBTQ+ people celebrating Pride Month. The list goes on and on.
One of the groups I’m working hard to get a better handle on—with my daughter’s help—is non-binary individuals. When it comes to this community, I must confess I am a work in progress—not from a judgment point-of-view, but from an understanding point-of-view.
As we were talking about what people were wearing, my daughter reminded me that clothing is non-gendered. Let’s call that AHA MOMENT #1. She added that 100 years ago, we would have been arrested for what we were wearing that day—shorts and t-shirts—not because they showed our legs, but because they were considered “men’s clothing,” and women wearing “men’s clothing” back then was against the law. AHA MOMENT #2.
AHA MOMENT #3 came when she asked, why seeing a woman wearing “traditional” men’s clothing (let’s say, a business suit) didn’t seem controversial to me, but seeing a man wearing “traditional” woman’s clothing (let’s say, a dress) did.
My honest answer was, “I don’t know. I guess it shouldn’t.” A question and answer I’m still thinking about several days later.
Then the topic shifted to aging and ageism—subjects my kids have heard me talk about often. She shared with me that during an improv performance, when someone portrays a character who’s supposed to be old, they invariably hunch over and mime that they’re walking with a cane.
This, for me, was AHA MOMENT #4.
All of us—no matter who we are or where we come from—harbor unconscious biases that color our perceptions of the people around us. They lead us to make incorrect and uninformed assumptions. They encourage us to see the world as black-and-white, rather than as myriad shades of gray accented by the infinitesimal colors of the rainbow. And often, they support us closing ourselves off to new ways of thinking and doing things, rather than inspiring us to open our eyes and hearts and minds to new ideas and ways of being we may never have otherwise considered.
My time spent in New York—and with my daughter—reminded me of how important and enriching it can be to view the world through a lens of curiosity and wonder. To ask questions, rather than to question. To listen, rather than to judge.
It’s time for us to wake up. Because the bell has rung. Class is in session. And we each have something of value to teach—and to learn—from each other.