Happy 95th, Zaydie!

My father-in-law turned 95 on Monday. "How did he spend his special day?" you might ask. Surrounded by family and friends? Enjoying a special meal or two? Blowing out the candles on his favorite cake?

The answer is, not exactly. While the weekend prior was spent with family, food, and cake(s)-plural, the big day itself was spent . . . at the HOSPITAL.

Thankfully, it was nothing too serious, and he should be back home not long after you read this post. However, his stay was precipitated by the fact that his 95-year-old, pacemaker-aided heart simply isn't working as well as it should be.

Upon hearing this diagnosis, my super-sensitive-to-ageism brain wondered if this wasn't another example of ageism in healthcare. But then I realized that, after 95 years, a quadruple bypass, and a pacemaker, age—rather than ageism—was probably the culprit, after all.

Let's face it: older age is more challenging for some people than it is for others—as is infancy, adolescence, pregnancy, menopause, and other stages of life. But rarely do we hold those challenges against the individuals who are struggling with them, be they infants who are teething, teens with braces and acne, expectant moms with round-the-clock "morning" sickness, or forty- and fifty-something women experiencing hot flashes, sleepless nights, and the renewed uncertainty of when (or IF) their next period will come.

As unpleasant as some of the realities of younger age—and even pregnancy—may be, most of us, nonetheless, tend to take them in stride and move on. They don't dominate or color our outlook on that stage of life--and we (hopefully) don't discriminate against those who have it worse than others.

Sadly, that does not seem to be the case with the challenges often related to older age: the aches and pains that come with years of wear-and-tear on our bodies; the hearing loss resulting from attending way too many high-decibel rock concerts (STILL); our inability to party as hard, stay up as late, and/or recover as easily as we once did. But rather than take it in stride, accept our new reality, and move forward, the ageist within us makes this new reality our entire view of older age—and these challenges become the sole focus of what society tells us older age is all about.

I wonder if, the sooner we begin to accept the challenges of older age and answer society’s ageist critics with a defiant, “SO WHAT?” the sooner we can replace their ageist notions with more positive messaging about older age? The fact is, reaching older age is a privilege, and hopefully—with good genes and good luck—we’ll all have the chance to experience and embrace it, despite the challenges it may bring.